The Thought Process - intiated by Praveena

She held my hands tightly, she had her eyes closed and was yelling my name. Yet when I asked her to open her eyes and look around, she did open those beautiful eyes and smiled a few moments after. We were on top of a joy-ride which was turning us upside down and giving us a bumpy ride. I myself was not scared but was feeling giddy at times. However, it was when she hid her face once again when the ride started to get a bit scary. The feeling of weightlessness was probably perturbing for her.
Later on, I felt that i really liked when she clutched my hands and fingers. It was a kind of responsibility. I felt that she depended on me and it was a responsibility to me, I did not feel like I wanted to shy away from that because it was making me feel that she wanted it and she deserved it also. Having met the little kid of Std-IV for only a few hours yet it is starnge thats he can make me feel attached to her.
When I was feeling a bit giddy and did not want to go on a certain joy-ride, she looked at me and asked me to come with her. Her eyes almost was asking me to come with her and suddenly i felt that probably she is afraid to go without me , without my reassurance. I felt that if i can give her a few moments of happiness then it will be almost a sin to shy away from it. All along the ride, i hardly was enjoying the ride myself, i was looking at her and seeing if she is fine and reassuring her at times.
Later on, on the trip back, as i sat back and was contemplating I felt that a few moments of happiness is OK but probably I can give more from my side. I can do things which are not as small as a single day's company but something whcih can shape her career and future. I can try and take her studies as my responsibility, teach her, impart knowledge and do things for her overall development. But then I realised that such a thing is indeed a big responsibility and questions flooded me as : Am i responsible enough? If tommorrow, I do a certain thing that starts affecting her, then that will be injustice and horribly wrong for the little child. Again there are thoughts that if i do nothing then there is probably hardly anything I have done to benefit her. I would want her to grow up and have a beautiful life ahead. But only wishing her and wanting that is no big deed. I am not saying doing anything is big deed anyways. But wishing and wanting a good life for another is an easy way out, doing something personally is always difficult, probably that is why it is said that to love is easy but to be responsible with love is never easy.
I hope I will soon figure out some way to give my penny of endeavour for one those enthusiastic kids there.
PS: For all those who may be wondering what is all teh above about. We went on a trip to WonderLa with abunch of kids from an orphanage which had kids between the age group of 2-12. There were total 37 kids and we really had a great time together. I will remember the day for a long long time. I will remember carrying them on my back in the water to the incoming waves. It was really good.